What's it gonna take to get me writing on this thing again, anyway?
Oh it's not for lack of ideas. Ive got plenty. I think it's more like for lack of a moment when some small hands are not pulling mine away from the keyboard while some Big-Brotherly eyes are not watching every keystroke I make from a computer at a large corporate health care facility that shall remain, at least in theory, nameless.
I think this morning's journey to new depths with regard to "Conversations about how scary and dangerous birth really is" among my esteemed colleagues is just the ticket/inspiration Ive been hoping to find.
And the timing, truly, could not be better. Right on the heels of my just-now-published article on Water Birth in PG Magazine and what has been described as a beautiful, calm waterbirth at a hospital, attended by my friend Shannon, comes a thoroughly disturbing, but sadly, not surprising conversation among Mother-Baby nurses aka Nursery Nurses this morning.
I am not employing hyperbole when I say that there was a general disdain for the very concept of water birth happening at our hospital among a number of staff members, while others simply felt there was a lack of communication about what they were to expect and what was expected of them at these births.
Thankfully, I was employing my new "I am not a member of this tribe. I will never be accepted by this tribe. I am merely here, temporarily, to learn from this tribe." Self-talk Techniqure for Sanity Maintenance in the Ethically Mismatched Workplace.
So, what Im trying to say is that, for the most part, I remained calm, unemotional, and kept my mouth shut.
Yes, I kept my mouth shut while a secretary described how deep her distaste for "that woman" (one of the midwives who delivers at home and has priviledges at my hospital) and her belief that people who want "that kind of birth" should stay home and "let their baby die". Yes, those were her words.
Cause, you know, statistically speaking, natural, hands-off homebirth is so must riskier than being in the hospital. Oh, no wait, that's the OPPOSITE of the truth.
But how would she know the truth about birth? Why would she need to know the truth when she's got fear. Fear and a loud voice. All ya need.
And what's it gonna take to get my big ol behind back in school so I don't have to share oxygen with people who spout this kind of hate-talk?
Well, maybe it's going to take a new state law that radically alters the way midwives can practice in New York and pretty much opens the door for a gal like me to set up a safe, ethical, progressive and supportive birth services practice for the women of Chautauqua County and their families without the permission of some physicians who may see me as a threat and a dangerous woman in general.
What? We have that now?
I guess I should take my New Mantra, my newfound tongue-holding ability, my inspiration to keep on blogging, my tuition reimbursement and my dangerous ideas and get to steppin, then. Im pretty much thinking Ive got what it is going to take.